“Gar!” Mal Duncan called as Changeling walked into the headquarters. “Can you take a look at this?”
Gar walked over and took the paper. “This the menu?”
”Yeah,” Mal said.
Gar nodded. “Sounds good.” He started to walk toward his bedroom.
”What’s going on?” Mal asked. “You look a little tense.”
”Who’s tense?” Karen asked as she walked in.
Mal nodded toward Gar. “He is. And he’s going to sit down and tell us all about it.”
Gar held up his hands in mock surrender. “All right, you win.”
”So what’s going on?” Karen asked.
“Tara’s been driving me nuts with all this wedding stuff. Anyway, today we were working on invitations, and Jason came by…”
“Just a Quick Visit”
Tobias Christopher
"Hey, guys," Jason said as he walked into the room. "What'cha doing?"
"Going over wedding invitations," Gar replied. "Almost finished."
"Not quite," Tara added. "What about the Teen Titans? Shouldn't we invite them? They are friends after all."
"Oh, nonononononononono. No," Gar replied. "Remember what happened when we let Impulse into our other HQ?"
The Titans were standing in the charred husk that was once their headquarters. Everyone was staring at Impulse, who was eating a burrito.
"Explain again how microwaving a burrito pulled a Soviet satellite out of orbit, and caused it to crash into our base!" Gar shouted.
"Maybe we could just invite Robin, Superboy, and a few others," Tara said. "Is that it?"
"I think so," Gar replied. "We need someone to deliver the invite to the Titans."
"I'll do it," Jason said. "It's been a while since I've been to New York."
"The Titans are in Indiana now," Gar corrected. "Maybe I should go with you. I'd like to see the new place."
Shortly
"Hello, anyone home?" Gar asked as he opened the door.
"Not much of a security system, is it?" Jason asked as he looked around. Suddenly a loud screeching sound was heard that was twenty times worse than Black Canary's sonic cry.
"Head... going to... explode!" Gar shouted.
"Oh, sorry about that," Offspring said. "Just listening to my Mariah Carey album. Who the hell are you?"
"They're friends," Robin said. "Changeling, Golden Eagle, this is our newest member, Offspring. He's Plastic Man's son."
"Charming," Gar said as he handed Robin the invitation. "Thought we'd drop this off in person."
"Congratulations," Robin said as he read the invitation. "We wouldn't miss this for the world."
"So this is Teen Titans Headquarters?" Golden Eagle asked. "Nice place."
"Luke, why don't you give Golden Eagle the grand tour while Changeling and I talk?" Robin asked.
"Alright," Luke said as he morphed into a tour guide. "We'll start with the training area."
"So, you two are really going through with this?" Robin asked.
"I know what you're thinking," Gar replied. "Tara and I are in love, and that's way it's going to be. Till death do us part, and so forth."
"Alright," Robin said. "I'll let the others know about the wedding."
"Well, if you wouldn't mind not telling Bart," Gar said. "Losing our headquarters is one thing, but letting him loose into a church is something else altogether."
Robin imagined Impulse walking into the church. Three seconds afterward, a lightning bolt struck the building.
"Okay, we'll just keep Bart in the dark about it." Robin said.
“So Impulse isn’t going to be there?” Mal asked.
“I’m sure he will be,” Gar said. “I can’t see any of the Titans keeping a secret, except maybe for Robin.”
“Come on,” Mal said. “I’m sure they’re not that bad.”
”Wrong!” Karen said, fixing a harsh glaze on Mal. “Remember when we had them at the old base while Luthor was hunting them? You weren’t the one who spent three hours glued to the wall!”
“But I did spend three weeks in the doghouse,” Mal finished. Karen smiled and kissed him. “That’s the secret to marriage,” Mal said. “Keep `em laughing.”
Karen leaned back in her chair. “Where is Tara, anyway?”
Gar rolled his eyes. “She’s out shopping for bridesmaid dresses with Bette. I just barely managed to weasel out of that.”
”Think they’ll wind up in jail again?” Mal asked. His face contorted as Karen punched him in the arm.
”They weren’t the only ones who wound up in jail!” Karen said.
“I don’t know,” Gar admitted, “but I’m just glad I’m not nearby.”
"Hey, guys," Jason said as he walked into the room. "What'cha doing?"
"Going over wedding invitations," Gar replied. "Almost finished."
"Not quite," Tara added. "What about the Teen Titans? Shouldn't we invite them? They are friends after all."
"Oh, nonononononononono. No," Gar replied. "Remember what happened when we let Impulse into our other HQ?"
The Titans were standing in the charred husk that was once their headquarters. Everyone was staring at Impulse, who was eating a burrito.
"Explain again how microwaving a burrito pulled a Soviet satellite out of orbit, and caused it to crash into our base!" Gar shouted.
"Maybe we could just invite Robin, Superboy, and a few others," Tara said. "Is that it?"
"I think so," Gar replied. "We need someone to deliver the invite to the Titans."
"I'll do it," Jason said. "It's been a while since I've been to New York."
"The Titans are in Indiana now," Gar corrected. "Maybe I should go with you. I'd like to see the new place."
Shortly
"Hello, anyone home?" Gar asked as he opened the door.
"Not much of a security system, is it?" Jason asked as he looked around. Suddenly a loud screeching sound was heard that was twenty times worse than Black Canary's sonic cry.
"Head... going to... explode!" Gar shouted.
"Oh, sorry about that," Offspring said. "Just listening to my Mariah Carey album. Who the hell are you?"
"They're friends," Robin said. "Changeling, Golden Eagle, this is our newest member, Offspring. He's Plastic Man's son."
"Charming," Gar said as he handed Robin the invitation. "Thought we'd drop this off in person."
"Congratulations," Robin said as he read the invitation. "We wouldn't miss this for the world."
"So this is Teen Titans Headquarters?" Golden Eagle asked. "Nice place."
"Luke, why don't you give Golden Eagle the grand tour while Changeling and I talk?" Robin asked.
"Alright," Luke said as he morphed into a tour guide. "We'll start with the training area."
"So, you two are really going through with this?" Robin asked.
"I know what you're thinking," Gar replied. "Tara and I are in love, and that's way it's going to be. Till death do us part, and so forth."
"Alright," Robin said. "I'll let the others know about the wedding."
"Well, if you wouldn't mind not telling Bart," Gar said. "Losing our headquarters is one thing, but letting him loose into a church is something else altogether."
Robin imagined Impulse walking into the church. Three seconds afterward, a lightning bolt struck the building.
"Okay, we'll just keep Bart in the dark about it." Robin said.
“So Impulse isn’t going to be there?” Mal asked.
“I’m sure he will be,” Gar said. “I can’t see any of the Titans keeping a secret, except maybe for Robin.”
“Come on,” Mal said. “I’m sure they’re not that bad.”
”Wrong!” Karen said, fixing a harsh glaze on Mal. “Remember when we had them at the old base while Luthor was hunting them? You weren’t the one who spent three hours glued to the wall!”
“But I did spend three weeks in the doghouse,” Mal finished. Karen smiled and kissed him. “That’s the secret to marriage,” Mal said. “Keep `em laughing.”
Karen leaned back in her chair. “Where is Tara, anyway?”
Gar rolled his eyes. “She’s out shopping for bridesmaid dresses with Bette. I just barely managed to weasel out of that.”
”Think they’ll wind up in jail again?” Mal asked. His face contorted as Karen punched him in the arm.
”They weren’t the only ones who wound up in jail!” Karen said.
“I don’t know,” Gar admitted, “but I’m just glad I’m not nearby.”
“Always the Bridesmaid, and Never the Bride”
Erik Fromme
“How about this one?” Bette Kane asked as she spun around once.
Tara Markov rubbed her chin in thought, and motioned with a spinning finger for Bette to turn around once again; admiring the soft peach color of the dress. “I like the color, it’s not as gaudy as that mint green one. What do you think?”
Bette came out of the spin looking at Tara, “I like the cut, it’s not as puffy as the last two, so I like its slinkiness, it’s really comfortable,” she cupped and pushed up her breasts, “and it really accents my cleavage.”
“Well, you’re the one who’s got to wear it with Karen and Kory. I hope we can get a dress big enough for Kory,” Tara added as an afterthought with a hint of concern for the over six-foot tall alien woman.
“You think Dick will be there?” Bette asked as she slid the spaghetti straps off of her slim shoulders.
Tara leaned against the wall and rolled her eyes. “Don’t tell me you still like Dick?”
Bette smirked, “Please, girl. I’ve moved on a long time ago. I just want to tease Dick for fun; you know, show him what he missed out on all these years,” the heroine known as Flamebird said with a growing smile.
“You’re terrible!” Tara said, and then she sighed. “Honestly, I don’t know. Gar and Richard haven’t gotten along for a while now, but I’d feel awful if I invited the whole old Titans group and not include him. I could invite him and leave him the option of not showing.”
Shaking her head Bette looked at the mirror, and momentarily froze before sliding the dress completely off. She quickly tried to shake off the thought of standing idly by as Garfield Logan walked past her, his green skin standing out against the black of the tuxedo. Stop it! she snapped at herself and let the dress completely go.
If Tara noticed the momentary hesitation in Bette’s face, then she didn’t let on. “Speaking of showing up, I can’t thank you enough for getting your nephew to be the ring bearer.”
Bette smiled and started to get dressed. “It’s not a problem. He hasn’t been more excited in his life than now, finally gets his chance to hang out with a bunch of superheroes. He was a little disappointed that Superman wasn’t going to be there, or the GL from Arizona. Brandon thinks he’s just the coolest.”
“So tell me, are you going to bring anybody to the reception? I think I remember a certain guy you met at a nightclub that would love to go with you,” Tara teased her bridesmaid.
“Don’t even go there, honey.” Bette warned as she pulled on a white Sealab 2021 t-shirt. “The kid might have been cute, but he radiated innocence, and you know what that means.”
“Virgin!” they choired at the same time.
I bet Gar ain’t no… Bette mentally slapped herself, and warned herself to quickly get over this stupid little crush of hers. But, no matter how much she fought it, she kept coming back to the one point that mattered: who was there for her the most? Answer: Garfield Logan.
But, you’re not the one he’s marrying, Bette. It was hard, and recalling the talk she had with Gar a few days ago at the coffee shop, she got the feeling he was doubting himself. Or maybe you’re just imaging things. Shut up and move on girl, you’re no stranger to the rules.
“I’m sure they’ll be somebody there for you. I’d hate to think that I’d be the only woman having a really great night.”
“You know me, I’m always the loner and the heartbreaker.” Bette scooped up her purse, and the dress that hung on the hanger. “You ready to go? I am famished.”
Tara nodded and she began to turn away and head to the counter of the wedding store, “Sure, I just have to put a down payment on the dresses first, and then we can go.”
“Hey Tara,” Bette called out before her brain even realized her mouth spoke. “I am so happy for you, I hope you and Gar are happy together,” Bette said, surprised at the sincerity behind the words, and she pulled Tara into a hug.
“Thank you Bette, I feel luckier as the day draws closer.” Tara pulled away and grinned. “I can’t wait to show Karen the dress we picked out!!”
Minutes later, with the dresses paid for, the duo walked out of the shop and felt the warm Los Angeles sun bathe their skin.
Karen smiled. “I remember when Cindy and I were looking at dresses for our wedding.”
”My poor sister,” Mal said. “She’s the reason I first met the Titans, you know.”
”Oh, no,” Karen said with a smile. “Not the How Mal Met the Teen Titans story again.”
“Do you have one you’d rather tell?” Mal asked.
Gar rubbed his temples. “How did you guys get through your wedding?” he asked. “Any tips you can give on how to relieve the stress?”
Mal and Karen shot a look at each other. “I don’t know that it would really help…” Mal said.
“Anything,” Gar pleaded.
“Well,” Mal said. “It all started while we were planning the service…”
“How about this one?” Bette Kane asked as she spun around once.
Tara Markov rubbed her chin in thought, and motioned with a spinning finger for Bette to turn around once again; admiring the soft peach color of the dress. “I like the color, it’s not as gaudy as that mint green one. What do you think?”
Bette came out of the spin looking at Tara, “I like the cut, it’s not as puffy as the last two, so I like its slinkiness, it’s really comfortable,” she cupped and pushed up her breasts, “and it really accents my cleavage.”
“Well, you’re the one who’s got to wear it with Karen and Kory. I hope we can get a dress big enough for Kory,” Tara added as an afterthought with a hint of concern for the over six-foot tall alien woman.
“You think Dick will be there?” Bette asked as she slid the spaghetti straps off of her slim shoulders.
Tara leaned against the wall and rolled her eyes. “Don’t tell me you still like Dick?”
Bette smirked, “Please, girl. I’ve moved on a long time ago. I just want to tease Dick for fun; you know, show him what he missed out on all these years,” the heroine known as Flamebird said with a growing smile.
“You’re terrible!” Tara said, and then she sighed. “Honestly, I don’t know. Gar and Richard haven’t gotten along for a while now, but I’d feel awful if I invited the whole old Titans group and not include him. I could invite him and leave him the option of not showing.”
Shaking her head Bette looked at the mirror, and momentarily froze before sliding the dress completely off. She quickly tried to shake off the thought of standing idly by as Garfield Logan walked past her, his green skin standing out against the black of the tuxedo. Stop it! she snapped at herself and let the dress completely go.
If Tara noticed the momentary hesitation in Bette’s face, then she didn’t let on. “Speaking of showing up, I can’t thank you enough for getting your nephew to be the ring bearer.”
Bette smiled and started to get dressed. “It’s not a problem. He hasn’t been more excited in his life than now, finally gets his chance to hang out with a bunch of superheroes. He was a little disappointed that Superman wasn’t going to be there, or the GL from Arizona. Brandon thinks he’s just the coolest.”
“So tell me, are you going to bring anybody to the reception? I think I remember a certain guy you met at a nightclub that would love to go with you,” Tara teased her bridesmaid.
“Don’t even go there, honey.” Bette warned as she pulled on a white Sealab 2021 t-shirt. “The kid might have been cute, but he radiated innocence, and you know what that means.”
“Virgin!” they choired at the same time.
I bet Gar ain’t no… Bette mentally slapped herself, and warned herself to quickly get over this stupid little crush of hers. But, no matter how much she fought it, she kept coming back to the one point that mattered: who was there for her the most? Answer: Garfield Logan.
But, you’re not the one he’s marrying, Bette. It was hard, and recalling the talk she had with Gar a few days ago at the coffee shop, she got the feeling he was doubting himself. Or maybe you’re just imaging things. Shut up and move on girl, you’re no stranger to the rules.
“I’m sure they’ll be somebody there for you. I’d hate to think that I’d be the only woman having a really great night.”
“You know me, I’m always the loner and the heartbreaker.” Bette scooped up her purse, and the dress that hung on the hanger. “You ready to go? I am famished.”
Tara nodded and she began to turn away and head to the counter of the wedding store, “Sure, I just have to put a down payment on the dresses first, and then we can go.”
“Hey Tara,” Bette called out before her brain even realized her mouth spoke. “I am so happy for you, I hope you and Gar are happy together,” Bette said, surprised at the sincerity behind the words, and she pulled Tara into a hug.
“Thank you Bette, I feel luckier as the day draws closer.” Tara pulled away and grinned. “I can’t wait to show Karen the dress we picked out!!”
Minutes later, with the dresses paid for, the duo walked out of the shop and felt the warm Los Angeles sun bathe their skin.
Karen smiled. “I remember when Cindy and I were looking at dresses for our wedding.”
”My poor sister,” Mal said. “She’s the reason I first met the Titans, you know.”
”Oh, no,” Karen said with a smile. “Not the How Mal Met the Teen Titans story again.”
“Do you have one you’d rather tell?” Mal asked.
Gar rubbed his temples. “How did you guys get through your wedding?” he asked. “Any tips you can give on how to relieve the stress?”
Mal and Karen shot a look at each other. “I don’t know that it would really help…” Mal said.
“Anything,” Gar pleaded.
“Well,” Mal said. “It all started while we were planning the service…”
“The Easy Way Out”
David Brashear
”My son is not getting married unless Reverend Smith performs the ceremony!” Mal’s mother yelled.
“My daughter wouldn’t even think about a ceremony like this without Reverend Jones performing the vows!” Karen’s mother screamed back.
Mal Duncan and Karen Beecher sat at the kitchen table, holding hands and looking uncomfortable. Their mothers had been yelling at each other for hours. It had started as a minor disagreement, and just gone downhill from there. Fifteen minutes into the argument, their fathers had disappeared into the living room with a case of beer. Sounds of a football game could be heard from the television.
“And if you think that my daughter will wear anything like this,” Karen’s mother said, holding a picture of the proposed wedding gown, “you can just forget it! My daughter is walking down the aisle looking like a princess, not some cheap slut!”
”Slut?” Mal’s mother yelled back. “There may be one in her family, but I don’t think it’s her!”
Just then Cindy, Mal’s younger sister, walked in. “What’s going on?” she asked as the two women sat down quickly.
“Nothing, sweetie,” Mal’s mother answered. “Just a little disagreement.”
”With someone who’s being totally unreasonable,” Karen’s mother added.
Mal jumped up from the table, pulling Karen by the hand. “We’ll be back in a few minutes,” he said. He grabbed Cindy by the arm and pulled her along too. “And we’ll be needing Cindy to drive.” He pulled them into the hallway and closed the kitchen door behind them.
”Karen, are you thinking what I’m thinking?” he asked.
“Oh, yeah,” Karen replied.
“Cindy, we need you to get us downtown by five,” Mal said.
“What’s going on?” she asked.
“You’ll need to sign some papers, too,” Karen said.
“That’s one,” Mal thought. “Who’s number two?” He turned toward the living room and grimaced when he saw the amount of empty cans that littered the floor around the easy chairs. “So much for that idea.” He whirled around when he heard a knock at the door.
When Mal swung the door open, it revealed Bette Kane standing on the other side, two suitcases at her feet. “Hi, guys,” she began. “My plane just, like, landed, and I’m ready to pick out dresses!”
”Number two,” Mal said.
“Definitely,” Karen agreed.
“Like, what’s going on?” Bette asked. Karen grabbed her by the arm and pulled her toward Cindy’s car. Mal picked up her suitcases, set them inside, and locked the door.
“Drive, Cindy,” Mal ordered as soon as they were in the car.
“By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you man and wife,” the justice of the peace said. “You may kiss the bride.”
”At last,” Karen and Mal whispered as they kissed for the first time as husband and wife. Bette and Cindy stood behind them. Bette carefully wiped her eyes, trying not to smear her makeup. She and Cindy held bouquets that had been purchased from a flower shop along the side of the road. Mal and Karen finally released each other and embraced Bette and Cindy, thanking them for everything.
“You eloped?” Gar asked with shock on his face. “What about your ceremony?”
”We went ahead and had it,” Karen said. “We invited you, but you were over in London at a Space Trek 2022 convention.”
”Of course, the downside was that our parents wouldn’t speak to us for a couple of weeks,” Mal added. “But once they saw that we were still willing to do the big wedding, they settled down.”
Gar shook his head. “I can just see Bette’s reaction to finding out she’d been drafted as a witness.”
Karen smiled. “Well, she was one of the bridesmaids anyway, so I think she was prepared.”
Gar shook his head. “I’d say that’s nuts, but it seems to be par for the course around here.” He stood. “Come on. Let’s go grab a bite of lunch upstairs before the Matrimony Express gets back.” The three of them laughed as they headed up to the Blue Note.
Leonid Kovar silently opened the door to Gar’s room in the base. He placed a package on Gar’s desk and was gone. The carefully wrapped package was labeled to Gar and Tara. He just hoped that it said everything he wanted to.
To Be Continued...
Next Issue: At last! Vicky Winters confronts the Titans with a shocking secret! And one of the team will go to any lengths to keep it hidden…
Previous Issue | Next Issue
”My son is not getting married unless Reverend Smith performs the ceremony!” Mal’s mother yelled.
“My daughter wouldn’t even think about a ceremony like this without Reverend Jones performing the vows!” Karen’s mother screamed back.
Mal Duncan and Karen Beecher sat at the kitchen table, holding hands and looking uncomfortable. Their mothers had been yelling at each other for hours. It had started as a minor disagreement, and just gone downhill from there. Fifteen minutes into the argument, their fathers had disappeared into the living room with a case of beer. Sounds of a football game could be heard from the television.
“And if you think that my daughter will wear anything like this,” Karen’s mother said, holding a picture of the proposed wedding gown, “you can just forget it! My daughter is walking down the aisle looking like a princess, not some cheap slut!”
”Slut?” Mal’s mother yelled back. “There may be one in her family, but I don’t think it’s her!”
Just then Cindy, Mal’s younger sister, walked in. “What’s going on?” she asked as the two women sat down quickly.
“Nothing, sweetie,” Mal’s mother answered. “Just a little disagreement.”
”With someone who’s being totally unreasonable,” Karen’s mother added.
Mal jumped up from the table, pulling Karen by the hand. “We’ll be back in a few minutes,” he said. He grabbed Cindy by the arm and pulled her along too. “And we’ll be needing Cindy to drive.” He pulled them into the hallway and closed the kitchen door behind them.
”Karen, are you thinking what I’m thinking?” he asked.
“Oh, yeah,” Karen replied.
“Cindy, we need you to get us downtown by five,” Mal said.
“What’s going on?” she asked.
“You’ll need to sign some papers, too,” Karen said.
“That’s one,” Mal thought. “Who’s number two?” He turned toward the living room and grimaced when he saw the amount of empty cans that littered the floor around the easy chairs. “So much for that idea.” He whirled around when he heard a knock at the door.
When Mal swung the door open, it revealed Bette Kane standing on the other side, two suitcases at her feet. “Hi, guys,” she began. “My plane just, like, landed, and I’m ready to pick out dresses!”
”Number two,” Mal said.
“Definitely,” Karen agreed.
“Like, what’s going on?” Bette asked. Karen grabbed her by the arm and pulled her toward Cindy’s car. Mal picked up her suitcases, set them inside, and locked the door.
“Drive, Cindy,” Mal ordered as soon as they were in the car.
“By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you man and wife,” the justice of the peace said. “You may kiss the bride.”
”At last,” Karen and Mal whispered as they kissed for the first time as husband and wife. Bette and Cindy stood behind them. Bette carefully wiped her eyes, trying not to smear her makeup. She and Cindy held bouquets that had been purchased from a flower shop along the side of the road. Mal and Karen finally released each other and embraced Bette and Cindy, thanking them for everything.
“You eloped?” Gar asked with shock on his face. “What about your ceremony?”
”We went ahead and had it,” Karen said. “We invited you, but you were over in London at a Space Trek 2022 convention.”
”Of course, the downside was that our parents wouldn’t speak to us for a couple of weeks,” Mal added. “But once they saw that we were still willing to do the big wedding, they settled down.”
Gar shook his head. “I can just see Bette’s reaction to finding out she’d been drafted as a witness.”
Karen smiled. “Well, she was one of the bridesmaids anyway, so I think she was prepared.”
Gar shook his head. “I’d say that’s nuts, but it seems to be par for the course around here.” He stood. “Come on. Let’s go grab a bite of lunch upstairs before the Matrimony Express gets back.” The three of them laughed as they headed up to the Blue Note.
Leonid Kovar silently opened the door to Gar’s room in the base. He placed a package on Gar’s desk and was gone. The carefully wrapped package was labeled to Gar and Tara. He just hoped that it said everything he wanted to.
To Be Continued...
Next Issue: At last! Vicky Winters confronts the Titans with a shocking secret! And one of the team will go to any lengths to keep it hidden…
Previous Issue | Next Issue