“Girls Night Out II: Bachelorette Mayhem!”
”I can’t believe you’re trying this again,” Gar Logan said. “Are you kidding?” Bette Kane asked as she inspected her dress. “It’s Tara’s bachelorette party.” She turned to Gar with a seductive look on her face. “Why? Are you jealous?” “No,” Gar replied. “I just remember what happened on your birthday. Bailing you all out of jail gets expensive.” “Come on,” Bette said. “That was a fluke. Nothing like that can happen again.” She checked her hair again and strolled out of the room. “Famous last words,” Gar said to the empty room before he switched off the light and left as well. “Now be careful this time,” Mal said as he kissed his wife goodbye. Karen smiled. “Don’t worry,” she said. “You won’t have to come bail me out again. Besides, it’s just me, Tara, and Bette going out for a little fun.” “Just make sure not to announce to everybody in the room if you spot Poison Ivy or Harlequin.” ”I’ll just yell, `Hey, it’s J-lo!’ and that ought to be a good distraction,” Karen replied. “That’s more like it,” Mal said. “Are you ready to go?” Bette asked as she walked into the room. “I’ve got a wad of dollar bills waiting to be spent!” “It’s good to see your enthusiasm,” Mal said. “You planned this whole thing, didn’t you?” ”Indeed I did!” Bette said. “We’re going to have the time of our lives out there tonight! Minus you guys.” She grabbed Tara and Karen by the arms and pulled them out. Mal turned as Gar entered the room. “This is going to be a disaster, isn’t it?” he asked. Gar slowly nodded. “Maybe I can get the warden at the prison to let me in for the wedding ceremony,” he said. Just then Paco Ramone walked in. “So, they gone?” he asked. “They’re gone,” Mal replied. “So what now?” Gar asked. “Wanna take bets on how long it takes for the cops to show up?” Just then Jason Parker stuck his head around the corner. “They gone?” he asked. “Yep,” Mal replied. “Good,” Jason replied. “Maybe now I can get some studying done.” ”Not before you get in the pool!” Gar yelled. “I’ve got two hours before they get arrested.” “Optimist,” Mal said. “An hour, tops.” ”What the heck,” Jason said. “I’ll take an hour and a half.” ”Forty-five minutes,” Paco said. “And multiple counts of assault.” “Wait a minute,” Mal said. “Are we going by what time they get arrested, or what time they call us? Because they’ve got to be booked and everything. That could seriously skew the results.” “Time they’re arrested, of course,” Gar said. “Well how’ll we know?” Jason asked. “They’ll only get one phone call. And asking what time they got arrested could get things pretty icy around here.” ”You know, I’ve got an idea on that,” Paco said with a smirk on his face. “That cab still smells like goat,” Tara observed as they climbed out in front of the bar. ”Oh, dear Lord,” Karen said. “The Bull’s Horns? Sounds like a bad country and western band.” “It’s great inside!” Bette said. “Come on!” She pulled the other two women inside and sat down at a table. “See if you can get one to let you spank him,” Bette said. “He might since you’re getting married.” ”This is not right,” Tara said. “There’s so much wrong with this I can’t even begin to express it.” Bette reached into her purse and pulled out a six-inch wad of dollar bills. “I’m ready!” she said. “Let’s start the show!” Karen rubbed her eyes. “Mal was right. We’re going to jail.” Outside, three very familiar faces were making their way down the sidewalk. “A barbecue joint?” the leader asked. The skinny one who’d brought them here shrugged. “Hey, it’s talking about a bull! What else could it be?” Just then a woman ran up to them. “Excúseme… Er, Excuse me,” she said. “My friend has fallen and needs help!” ”Sure thing, pretty lady,” the skinny one said. With his two friends closely behind, he followed the woman into an alley. His eyes rolled back as she hit him on the back of the head. “Excellent,” the woman’s friend said. “These two will do perfectly.” ”Man, this is the dumbest idea I’ve ever heard,” Mal judged. ”What’s wrong with it?” Paco Ramone asked. “Just look at yourselves,” Mal said. Jason, Paco, and Gar stood before him in dresses and wigs. “Gar looks like a walking Nair ad, you look like the bearded lady in the circus, and Jason can’t even stand up.” ”I can, too,” Jason said. He let out a cry as his high heels buckled again and he fell over backwards. “Where did you get this idea, anyway?” Mal asked as he walked away, shaking his head. Paco didn’t say anything, but the previous night’s episode of “Bosom Buddies” was playing through his head again. “This is great!” Bette yelled. She let out a catcall as she slid a dollar bill into a dancer’s pouch and got a kiss for her efforts. Totally embarrassed, Tara leaned over to Karen. “Do you see an empty table yet?” ”Not yet,” Karen replied. “Do you think we’ll be able to get away from her?” ”She’ll never even notice we’re gone,” Tara replied. She glanced up and saw Bette dancing on their table with one of the club’s dancers. “How could this get any worse?” Just then the doors to the bar were kicked open by a woman wearing high leather boots. “Greetings!” the woman called out. “This club is now being robbed by Tora and the Mighty Endowed!” The two friends, their faces even blanker than usual, entered, carrying Mighty Endowed in. ”Yes,” Mighty Endowed yelled. “Gaze into my blinding headlights and give us your money!” Bette scowled as the man she’d been dancing with climbed down off the table and joined a line that was preparing to hand over their money. “What’s going on over there?” she asked. Karen grabbed her arm and pulled her and Tara down under the table for a strategy session. “Don’t look!” she whispered. “STAR’s been consulting on her ever since she was captured by Young Justice. That light coming from her chest is hypnotizing. Here.” She handed the other two Titans sunglasses. “These help to filter her powers so we won’t be affected. Just don’t lose them.” ”And you just happened to have these with you?” Tara asked. Karen shrugged. “So I don’t clean my purse out very often. So what?” “So who do we take out first?” Bette asked. Karen thought a moment. “Tora’s going to be the problem. All we have to do is take out Mighty Endowed’s support and that’ll be all she wrote.” ”How?” Tara asked. “She can’t stand up on her own,” Karen replied. “Let’s do it!” The three jumped out from under the table and charged the thieves. Karen ducked as Tora’s whip cracked just over her head. “Now, now,” Tora said. “I know you want to give us your money, but you must wait your turn!” ”Girlfriend, you have some serious lower back problems in your future!” Bette called as she ran toward Mighty Endowed. “Stop,” Mighty Endowed ordered. Despite the protection the sunglasses gave, Bette still felt herself slowing. Suddenly Mighty Endowed screamed as a fountain of mud flowed up from under the floor and covered her torso, shielding Bette from the blinding headlights. “Night-night,” Bette said as she tackled one of the two friends. Mighty Endowed fell over and landed on the friend who was still standing. If he’d been conscious, it would have been the greatest experience of his young life. Tora was distracted by the sound of Mighty Endowed falling to the floor (which sounded something like a building collapsing). One punch from Karen sent her to the floor to join her unconscious colleague. “Well, what next?” Bette asked. That question was answered when the police swarmed in and again arrested everyone. Dagon was flying overhead when he saw the police taking Bette, Karen, and Tara into their van. He just shook his head and flew away. “Great,” Tara said as the three women sat in their cell. “What a night.” “Well, Bette promised you’d never forget it,” Karen added. “So who calls the team? I did it last time.” ”I can’t,” Tara said. “How am I supposed to call my fiancé and ask him to bail us out?” “Forget the bail,” Bette said. “I’ve got an idea.” “This is the worst night of my life,” the young man in the next cell moped. “The other two get to go to the hospital, but I wind up here. How could this get any worse?” ”Psst!” he heard from the next cell. “What’s your name?” “Erik,” he replied. He glanced over. “Don’t I know you?” ”No,” Bette answered. “Here’s the deal. My friend over here was having her bachelorette party when we got busted for something or other. I don’t think she’s had enough fun yet, and I’ve still got a roll of dollar bills. You get my drift?” “Why not?” the young man asked. He started pulling off his shirt as Bette started clapping. Tara just looked embarrassed. Karen ran to the cell door. “Guard! I want to make my phone call now!” Mal grinned as he hung up the phone. “Guess who,” he said. “Are they in jail?” Gar asked. “Yep.” Jason looked up from the icepack on his ankle. “Are they all still alive?” he asked. “Sounds like it.” Mal thought a moment. “Now all we’ve got to do is decide who’s going to bail them out.” “I can’t miss this,” Paco said. “I’m the one with the checkbook,” Gar said. “This isn’t fair!” Jason said. “I can’t walk!” “Gar and Paco it is, then,” Mal judged. “Have fun, boys.” The officer had a funny look as he came back to the counter. “Is something wrong, officer?” Gar asked. “Well, they’ve got the guy in the next cell dancing around naked and the one with the long blond hair is throwing dollar bills at him,” the officer explained. “We’ll wait till they get it out of their systems,” Gar said. He and Paco sat down to wait. Next Issue: What are Red Star and Sonya so concerned about? It shows up next issue in a story that will begin a transition to a new roster! 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