“Enter the Legionnaires!”
Dubbilex looked over at Dr. Roquette Serling as they stood on the roof of an abandoned building in Los Angeles. Serling was fiddling with a small device that was making an incessant beeping noise. ”We’re close,” she finally determined. Dubbilex nodded. “Do you actually think that there may be more of them here?” he asked, gesturing with his head toward the building where the other Legionnaires were resting. “I have no idea,” Serling admitted. She folded the device closed and slid it into a pouch on her belt. She sat down on the roof and faced Dubbilex. “You’re the one who knows more about Donovan, anyway.” Dubbilex sat down beside her. “Perhaps, although I seriously doubt that anyone truly knew what Dr. Donovan was thinking.” Serling reached out and laid a hand on Dubbilex’s shoulder. “Sometimes I wonder what we were thinking going to work with these four.” Dubbilex sighed. “At least it’s calmer than with Superboy.” Serling just smiled and leaned back against a pole. Inside the Legionnaires’ rooms in the hotel, problems were beginning to erupt. Namely, Dream Girl had gone to sleep and Tenzil had found out. “I’m serious!” Tenzil said. Timber Wolf leaned against the wall, his arms crossed. “I still don’t get it.” ”Yeah,” Cosmic Boy chimed in. “Are you sure it’s traditional to do a panting strike?” Tenzil rolled his eyes. “That’s panty raid. And yes I am sure it’s traditional. Haven’t you seen those movies I recommended?” ”Not exactly,” Timber Wolf said, holding up videotapes of Revenge of the Nerds and Porky’s. “We hit a shower scene and Cos here lost it.” ”You let out a magnetic pulse at the videos?” Tenzil asked. Cosmic Boy nodded as a blush colored his cheeks. “Hey, come on!” Cosmic Boy said. “There were boobies!” “Yeah, so we watched Mighty Drunken Power Rangers instead,” Timber Wolf added. “It was the episode where Carla Repulsa keeps turning all the beer into Zima.” “Hey, that is a good one,” Tenzil agreed. “Question,” Cosmic Boy said. “Shouldn’t there be more than one girl? I mean, how many panty drawers can Dreamy really have?” “Good point,” Tenzil said. “But what else can we do? I don’t want to raid Dubbilex. And I’m sure Serling has some sort of doodad that fires lasers guarding her drawer. And remember, this is Dreamy we’re talking about here.” “This is really starting to sound like a bad idea,” Timber Wolf said as he crossed his arms. “Wimp,” Tenzil said as he eased the door open. He grinned as he saw Dream Girl’s door slightly ajar, with its bounty beyond. “I’m going. You two just sit here and have your little sewing circle or whatever. I’m going for the gusto.” Tenzil silently crept out and down the hall. Timber Wolf and Cosmic Boy shot each other a look and then hurried to their door to watch. Tenzil slipped down the hall and silently eased the door open. He could almost hear angels singing as he glimpsed her dresser. His hopes were immediately dashed as a bucket of ice water fell from its place on top of the door and landed squarely on his head. Without bothering to remove the bucket, Tenzil walked back to his room, where Timber Wolf and Cosmic Boy were stifling giggles. “You know, I think she may have foreseen this,” Tenzil observed. The sleeping Dream Girl just smiled and rolled over. Meanwhile… Bette Kane wiped sweat off her brow. She glanced into Paco Ramone’s smiling face. She carefully licked her lips. She knew that this had to work out just right… Success! She smiled and saw Paco’s face fall. “You’re in the Molasses Swamp!” she said. “Great,” Paco said as he leaned back in his chair. He waved his hand over Candy Land. “So why are we playing this again?” Bette grinned. “Because you didn’t think Chutes and Ladders sounded like fun. And Leo broke Hungry Hungry Hippos the last time he played it.” ”I said I was sorry!” Leonid yelled from the couch where he was watching Gilligan’s Island. “Poor castaways,” he said to himself as he grabbed a handful of popcorn. “Perhaps this time they will be rescued.” “That’s not what I mean!” Paco said. “We’re super heroes! Shouldn’t we be out saving the world or something?” ”Hey,” Bette shrugged. “The signal’s not sounding, so I guess that there’s no trouble in the city.” In the monitor room, Mal bent over the main computer again with a soldering iron in his hand. “Well, I’m sure that nothing will happen until I get the alarm reconnected,” he said. Above, a giant robot controlled by a monkey wearing a purple cape stomped through the city, toppling buildings at will. “Yes!” the monkey said. “Now that I have come here, I have found the success which formerly eluded me, for there I failed. But now that I am no longer there, I am no longer losing, for I am winning! Yes, victory is mine, not defeat, but victory! For victory and defeat cannot coexist, and success is the option I have received!” The monkey laughed an evil laugh and steered his robot deeper into the city, firing laser blasts from its eyes. In Titans West HQ, Bette grabbed at her glass of iced tea as it almost fell to the floor. “Looks like another earthquake,” she mentioned. Paco took advantage of the opportunity to knock the board to the ground. “Oh, too bad.” Bette smiled as she picked up another box. “Twister?” A wide grin spread across Paco’s face. “Oh, yeah.” The Legionnaires landed outside a dilapidated warehouse. Serling checked her monitor again. “This is definitely it,” she said. “Whatever Donovan was growing is in there.” Cosmic Boy stepped forward and studied the padlock on the door. “No problem,” he judged. “I’ll go ahead and take care of this.” He pointed a finger at the lock and used his powers to pop it open. “Let’s go,” he said as he pulled the lock off the door. “I believe those are all the defenses,” Dream Girl said. “I saw us getting in with no problems.” ”I also am detecting no further security,” Dubbilex said. “Well what are we waiting for?” Tenzil asked. “Let’s get in there!” Before anyone could stop him, Tenzil swung the door open and stepped inside. Timber Wolf stepped inside and sniffed the air. “I don’t like this,” he judged. “Something’s not right.” “What’re you talking about?” Tenzil asked. “It’s fine.” ”Look!” Dream Girl said as she pointed. “Is that what you found us in?” Tenzil looked at the glass tube filled with thick green liquid. “Yeah, pretty much.” “So how did you get us out?” Cosmic Boy asked. “Let’s see,” Serling said as she walked to the console. She quickly entered some commands and it started to drain. “I see that Doctor Donovan never changed his protocols,” Dubbilex observed. Serling smiled. “Makes my job easy,” she said. “Indeed,” Dubbilex said. Serling studied the readouts as the liquid drained. “Look!” Dream Girl said. “It’s Cham!” Inside the tube, Chameleon Boy slumped against the glass. Meanwhile… “Ha ha ha!” the monkey laughed as his robot picked up buildings and flattened them. Suddenly he heard something. “What is that sound?” he thought. “It is so familiar. It is on the tip of my tongue!” Suddenly a stream of liquid flew past the monkey’s command pod. “Wait a minute,” he said as he sniffed the air. “I recognize that. Beer? How did beer get here? Beer belongs in a bottle or a keg, not the air. The air should be- Did I say beer?” The monkey raised his eyes and saw another robot standing there. “The Kegazord?” he asked. “That’s right!” the red Drunken Ranger said. “Guess who happened to be in town for a booze tasting?” ”Booze tasting?” the Green Ranger said. “For me it was more of a booze guzzling!” ”Come on, guys,” the Pink Ranger said. “Let’s just take him down so I can get to Pier One!” The monkey screamed as the Kegazord launched toward him. Go, go drunken rangers! Mighty drunken power rangers! “Well, this is exciting,” Tenzil said. “How’s he doing?” “Should be okay,” Serling said. “I’m bringing him out now.” Serling entered another command on the keyboard (a converted Speak ‘n Spell) and the tube began to open. “Easy there,” Cosmic Boy said as he helped Chameleon Boy out of the tube. “You’ve had a rough time of it.” Cham just sat down and tried to gather his thoughts. Serling stepped forward and started running scans on him with a small device she’d saved from Cadmus. “Nothing unusual here,” she said, “Although I’m not entirely sure what normal is for him.” Suddenly Cham’s head snapped around. Timber Wolf smiled. “Hey, Cham. You remember us now?” ”No, but my master does!” Cham yelled. His arm shot out across the room and stabbed a button. “I don’t think that was good,” Tenzil observed as hatches around the room started sliding open, revealing five more Chams. Timber Wolf vanished underneath a creature resembling an octopus. A living mass covered Dream Girl. Cosmic Boy fought for his life but he was overwhelmed quickly as well. Tenzil, Dubbilex, and Serling backed toward the door. Go, Dubbilex told her via telepathy. Tenzil and I will do what we can, but you must find us backup. All right, Serling thought back. But I really don’t like this idea. She launched into flight and didn’t look back as the Chams covered Tenzil and Dubbilex. In the Griffith Park, Gar Logan and Tara Markov were just finishing a picnic lunch. “That was great!” Tara said as she lay back on the grass under the sun. Gar smiled. “I’m glad,” he said. He reached into his pocket. “Tara, there’s something I’ve been wanting to talk to you about. I’ve been wanting to mention it since before the old HQ was bombed.” Tara sat up. Gar slowly got down onto one knee and opened the small velvet ring box he’d had in his pocket. “Tara, will you marry me?” Tears filled Tara’s eyes as she grabbed Gar and kissed him, giving him her answer. They were oblivious to the monkey’s white and purple-striped helmet slamming into the ground a few feet away. Next Issue: It’s up to Titans West to save the Legionnaires! And was the only clone in Donovan’s base Chameleon Boy or were there others? Previous Issue | Next Issue |
