Titans West

"Next!" the young man behind the counter at the DMV yelled. The man at the head of the line was engaged in an animated conversation with the person behind him. The man at the counter sighed. "Hey! You're up next, yutz!" His eyes widened as the man turned around and smiled. "Oh no," the counter man whispered.

"At last! We have searched long and hard to locate you, Bruce! And now the Injustice League will rise again!" Major Disaster yelled. Behind him, Big Sir clapped his hands with glee.

Bruce lowered his head until it banged on the counter. "Selma, I'm taking my break," he said to his supervisor.

"Aren't your eyes supposed to be blue?" Gar asked, gazing deep into the Phantom Stranger's eyes. "I talked with Supergirl about an experience she had like this. She said your eyes were blue."

Despite himself, the Stranger smiled. "No. That is another. Roland was considered for this task, but he is too..."

"Blunt?" Gar asked when the Stranger didn't say anything.

"Bloodthirsty."

"Yow."

"Indeed. We have much to discuss, Garfield Logan, and not much time to do so."

In the hospital, three interns were discussing their next duty among themselves. "Come on, you guys," one of them said. "I changed those bandages last time."

"Tough," the leader said. "We drew straws, and you lost."

"That's right," the third said. "And don't forget you've got to check Mr. Dinklefwat's colostomy bag, too."

"You guys could at least show me your straws," the loser protested.

"Sorry, you lost," the leader said. "Now get to it. You know Dr. Beecher's really protective of this one."

"I think Dr. Beecher's hot," the third intern said.

"Knock it off," the leader said. "Now come on. I've got some Buds hidden back behind the dialysis machine in room 306." The two walked down the hall and entered a room where bottles could be heard opening.

"Great," the remaining intern said. "Just great." Scowling, he walked into Gar's hospital room. He carefully started unwrapping the bandages on Gar's left arm. As Gar's arm was revealed, the intern's eyes shot wide open. He nearly dropped Gar's arm as he fumbled for the phone.

Karen was sitting in a lounge with Bette and Tara when her cell phone rang. She rolled her eyes when she saw who was calling. "So help me if those screwups have done anything," she muttered as she punched buttons on her cell. "This is Dr. Beecher. And so help me, if this has anything to do with Shirtless Girl I'll..." Her voice trailed away. "You're kidding." She listened for a moment more. "I'm on my way." Karen stood. "I'll get you two down there as fast as I can," she said to Tara and Bette as she ran out of the room.

Vibe looked around his new room. "Not much of a view, is there?" he observed.

Mal grinned. "If you want a view, we could always move you back to the old HQ. Plenty of view there."

"Thanks for nothing," Paco said mock-grumpily. "How did all of you guys fit in here?"

"Wasn't much fitting to do," Mal replied. "Everybody had their own places back in the old days. Now times have changed."

"You can say that again," Paco said.

Mal picked up his phone when it started ringing. "Yeah?" he asked.

Red Star's voice came through clearly. "Mal, this is Leonid. I have been exploring our old headquarters, and it looks as if the only thing that can be salvaged is the hangar. It appears to still be structurally sound. The jet appears to be undamaged as well."

"Well, it's nice to know that there was something left," Mal said. "When you get back, I'll start making plans to get the tunnel to the base opened up again." Mal hung up the phone. "Well, we've still got wings," he said.

"Come on in," Karen said as she led Bette and Tara into Gar's hospital room.

"He's still breathing?" Bette asked. "The way you ran out, I thought..."

"Nothing like that," Karen said. "Look at this." She raised Gar's arm and expertly unwound the bandages that were covering it. Tara and Bette's eyes widened as they saw the skin underneath was a healthy green.

"How?" Tara asked. "You said that he had third-degree burns!"

"I know," Karen said. "The only thing I can figure out is that Gar's powers are healing him. It's like this. When he returns to his Gar Logan form from an animal, he doesn't have to go through a mental checklist like two feet, ten toes, two legs, two knees, and so on. He just does it. I believe that his cells have a sort of memory of their regular configuration. Right now, those cells are returning to that configuration, and Gar's healing miraculously quickly."

"What about his mind?" Tara asked. "Is that all right?"

Karen exhaled heavily. "Right now, all I can do is try to keep up with him. We're in completely uncharted territory here. I have no idea what's going on in his brain."

"So," Gar said. "What's going on to bring you here?"

The Stranger took a deep breath. "Your assailant."

"You mean -"

The Stranger raised a hand. "No. Do not say the name. I have been dispatched to remove the name from your memory."

"Why?" Gar asked. "How many people have died because of -"

"One," the Stranger interrupted. "And it is possible that there are more still to come. However, the Presence has decided that the identity shall remain hidden until the time is right."

"What?" Gar asked. "You're nuts! Why keep this name a secret when people could be getting killed? I thought you'd want to save lives, not help some psychopath take them!"

"My feelings are irrelevant," the Stranger said. "The Presence has decided."

"Forget it!" Gar yelled. "I'm not playing this little game. When I wake up, I'm going to tell who it was, and then we'll take care of the problem!"

Suddenly the Stranger was beside Gar. "You misunderstand. This is not a request." Feeling almost sickened, Gar could only watch as the Stranger plunged his hand into Gar's skull.

"Finally we have reunited!" Major Disaster yelled. Seated around the conference table (made out of crates) were the rest of the Injustice League (Cluemaster, Multi Man, Bruce, and Big Sir).

"Where's Clock King?" Cluemaster asked. "Shouldn't he be here?"

"I heard he was abducted by aliens," Multi Man said.

"Bah!" Major Disaster yelled. "As far as I'm concerned, he renounced our association when he began to work with the JLX! I have already found his replacement!"

"About that," Bruce said, raising his hand. "There's no way in hell I'm going anywhere with a name like the `Rolex Warrior.' And this costume's pretty bad, too." Bruce stood up, showing off his costume. It fit very badly. It was neon pink with a big orange R on the chest and the cape appeared to be an old woman's housecoat with the arms tied around his neck. He also wore a gold alarm clock around his neck with the word Rolex written on it in magic marker.

"What's wrong with it?" Major Disaster asked.

"It looks like something Catman would wear!" Bruce yelled back.

"Big Sir likes the pretty suit. Big Sir thinks you look like a pretty, pretty flower."

"Argh." Bruce slumped into his chair and let his head bang against the table.

"You didn't like the other idea," Major Disaster said.

Bruce raised his head. "You were going to call me the Time Trapper and I was going to use mousetraps with little clocks attached. That's pretty stupid, too."

"Rolex Warrior it is, then!" Major Disaster yelled. "Now, on to our next criminal conundrum."

"You've gotten a lot more eloquent," Cluemaster said.

"I graduated with honors from the Manga Khan School of Melodrama," Major Disaster replied.

"Oh, yeah. Nothing can stop us now," Multi Man said, then burst into tears.

The next morning, Leonid Kovar and Sonya Romanov walked through the museum. "This is beautiful," she said.

"Yes," he said, checking his map. "Ah! The Dooley Diamond is right this way!"

"I have heard so much about this stone," she said as they walked down a corridor. "I missed it when it visited Moscow."

"Then let us make up for lost time," Leonid said with a smile. They reached the entrance to the exhibition hall and stopped. Major Disaster and the Injustice League looked back at them. Major Disaster was already cutting through the display case that held the diamond. Multi Man was dancing giddily with Big Sir. Cluemaster was leaning against another display case with a cigarette in his mouth. Bru - Rolex Warrior was hiding behind a statue.

"Not again," Leonid said.

Bette Kane looked up as her signaller went off. She whipped out her cell phone and called Mal. "What's going on?" she asked.

"You're not going to believe this," Mal replied. "Leo took Sonya on another date and this time the Injustice League showed up. They're after the Dooley Diamond."

"The Injustice League?" Bette asked. "I'm on my way."

"Paco and Jason are already en route. We shouldn't need much more than you three to shut these guys down."

"Great," Bette flipped her phone closed. "I've got to go. We've got trouble at the museum. I'll be back as soon as I can." She squeezed Tara's shoulder and ran out.

Leonid Kovar pulled Sonya back down a hall and pushed her into a bathroom. "Stay here," he said. "I'm going to look for security."
"Be safe, Leonid," she said as she ducked inside and locked the door.

"Of course," he said as he ran into a bathroom and pulled his shirt over his head, exposing his Red Star uniform.

"Can we please hurry?" Cluemaster asked.

Major Disaster grunted as he fought the glass cutter. "Maybe if one of you felt like helping, we'd be able to get done a little faster!"

'Hey, I'm on guard duty," Cluemaster replied as he took another drag off his cigarette.

"And a great job you're doing, too," Major Disaster muttered.

"Big Sir will help!" Big Sir said, grinning as he hopped over to the case.

"Good Lord, here we go again," Multi Man said.

With a big smile on his face, Big Sir smashed the case with his armored fist. Alarms instantly began sounding.

"Great," Major Disaster said. "Let's just grab the diamond and go!" He snatched the diamond and started for the door. He bounced off Red Star and slid back across the floor.

"Surrender now," Red Star said.

"This cannot be happening!" Major Disaster said.

"It's not!" Bruce yelled as he leaped forward. "The Rolex Warrior will save the day." He'd removed his alarm clock and was spinning it be the chain like an old mace. He slammed the clock into Leonid's head. Leonid didn't even flinch as the clock exploded, leaving Bruce holding the chain. Leonid grabbed Bruce by the front of his costume and pitched him over his shoulder.

"Anyone else?" Red Star asked.

"Let's get out of here!" Cluemaster yelled as he threw two pellets from his costume onto the ground. They exploded, filling the air with thick smoke.

"What was the point of that?" Major Disaster yelled. "That's the only door to this room!"

"Yeah, but now he can't see," Cluemaster said.

"And now we can't see, either!" Major Disaster screamed back.

Flamebird and Vibe arrived outside the museum and quickly ran up the steps. "Eagle, can you see anything?" she asked.

"No," Golden Eagle replied. "Doesn't look like they've got any guards out here at all."

"That means that they're all inside," Flamebird said. "We're on our way!" The two ran inside.

"I thought they were good guys now!" Vibe said. "I mean, we saw Clock King hanging out at JLX headquarters, and I heard the whole team joined the Justice League once."

"Who knows?" Flamebird asked. "Maybe Clock King was the only one to reform." They stopped as they saw the display hall filled with smoke.

"What now?" Vibe asked.

"We wait," Flamebird replied. "This is the only door out of that room, and we've got Eagle keeping an eye on things from overhead. We've got them." The two just stood there, waiting for the smoke to clear.

They tensed when a shadow appeared in the smoke. Red Star emerged, dragging Major Disaster out by his cape. In his other hand he held the Dooley Diamond.

"You're really making us feel useful," Vibe said.

Red Star smiled and shrugged. "If you had been on time, you could have taken care of Catman back there."

Flamebird recoiled when she saw Bruce's costume. "That's just wrong."

Red Star handed her the diamond. "The others are in there. I believe we can call the police now."

"Guess so," Flamebird said. "I'll go get them."

Gar Logan shuddered as the Phantom Stranger withdrew his hand from his forehead. "What happened?" Gar asked.

"Nothing," the Stranger replied. "I am simply ensuring that matters transpire as they should."

"Now what?" Gar asked.

"Wake up," the Stranger said, waving his hand.

Gar Logan's eyes fluttered open. "Tara?" he asked weakly.

Next Issue: It's the team-up you never thought you'd see! Titans West and the Overseers fighting together!

Previous Issue | Next Issue