Superboy

Superboy flew through the air and tried to focus on just relaxing, but his mind kept wandering back to the Cadmus Project, which was now under the control of one of his deadliest enemies.

“Great. My life is turning into a bad comic book or soap opera or something,” he muttered as he pulled his cell phone out of his jacket. As he turned it on, it began vibrating.

“You have 19 voice messages,” the phone told him. He listened and discovered they were all from Amanda Spence, starting out calm, then upset, then angry, then furious, then to a level where he was given a vocabulary lesson. He shrugged, deleted them all and punched autodial.

Below him, just to prove that his life was indeed turning into a bad comic book, a giant Nazi robot climbed out of a huge hole and goose-stepped off to destroy Hoboken.

“Come on,” Superboy muttered as the phone rang and the robot began saluting, shooting its arm into a skyscraper. He hung up as he reached Cassie Sandsmark’s voice mail.

“Man, she never answers,” he moped as he slid the phone back into his jacket. “I guess I’ll just have to take care of this.” He accelerated and slammed into the robot.

Superboy stomped into Cadmus, reeking. Serling Roquette started to approach, caught a whiff, and backed off. “What happened to you?” she asked.

Superboy scowled. “Have you ever heard of a skunk-powered robot?” he asked. “Apparently some nut figured it out a lotta years ago.” He paused and smiled. “If you’ll excuse me, Director Spence wants to talk to me.” Feeling much more cheerful, he started down the hallway.

Amanda Spence wiped her mouth. To say that her meeting with Superboy had gone poorly would be an understatement. She pushed her puke-filled wastebasket away and fled her office. She’d call maintenance on the way out. Apparently Superboy had to learn a lesson about respect, and that would be one she was more than willing to teach.

Dubbilex frowned as he looked around Superboy’s bedroom. He carefully looked for clear patches of carpet to step on as he searched for Superboy. He noticed that the bathroom light was on and headed that way, finally giving up and using his telekinesis to push funk out of the way.

Dubbilex pushed the door open with his mind and stepped inside. He held his hand before his eyes as he stepped inside. “Pardon the intrusion,” he said, “but Director Spence has become quite ill. What did you do?”

When he got no response, Dubbilex reluctantly dropped his hand and discovered Superboy lying in a bathtub full of red liquid. Superboy’s eyes were closed and he was not moving. “Double Helix!” he yelled. Dubbilex sprinted to an intercom and began to summon a medical team.

“Chill, Dub,” Superboy said. Dubbilex turned to see Superboy sitting up in the tub. “It’s tomato juice. I got sprayed by like a billion skunks today and I’m trying to get rid of the smell.”

“I don’t understand,” Dubbilex said.

“Well, I was fighting this robot, and I punched it in the chest, and I guess I knocked the little wheels loose, and…”

Dubbilex held up a hand. “Don’t worry about it.” He gently massaged his forehead. “I assume that is what happened to Director Spence?”

“Probably,” Superboy said with a smile. “She deserves it.”

”And what are you going to do about it?” Dubbilex asked.

“First I’m going to get defunkified,” Superboy said. “After that, I’ve got a date with Cassie tonight.”

“I see,” Dubbilex said. “If you’ll excuse me, it’s quite pungent in here.” Dubbilex quickly made his way out to the hallway, where he gulped down lungful after lungful of sweet, clean, skunk-free air.

Behind him, Superboy raised his arm and sniffed. “Man, I’m never getting rid of this stink,” he groaned as he slid back down into the juice.

“Really?” the Guardian asked. He stood on top of an old apartment building in Metropolis.

“Yes,” Dubbilex reaffirmed. He was uncomfortable using the cell phone, but his mental powers were currently focused on settling his stomach. “A skunk-powered robot.”

”I’ll be,” Guardian said with a smile. “Dr. Vangestankenhoffer finally got that thing running.”

“You knew?” Dubbilex asked.

“I fought the guy during World War II,” Guardian said. “Wasn’t a whole lot of trouble like most of the fifth columnists were. While they were sabotaging munitions plants, he’d set off stink bombs in stores.” Guardian leaned back against the rooftop. “Those were the good old days.” He leaned forward again. “Did Superboy happen to say where this happened? I’d kind of like to take a look at the thing.”

Dubbilex shook his head as it started hurting again. “No, he didn’t,” he admitted. “However, from his odor, I would say that you could simply follow your nose to find it.”

“Maybe I will,” Guardian said. He stopped as a woman screamed somewhere below. “Gotta go, Dub. Trouble.” The Guardian ended the call and moved quickly to intercept the crime.

Minutes earlier…

Helena Sandsmark was pacing again. Cassie, her daughter, sat on a bed and watched her. “I can’t believe this,” Helena said. “I’ve come to Metropolis for a conference, and you’re going out on an unsupervised date?” Helena swiveled at the edge of the hotel room and started back across. “Metropolis is a dangerous city. Sure, it’s better than Gotham, but it’s still dangerous and you’re a young woman.”

Cassie finally had had enough and stood. “Mom, listen,” she said. “I’m a Titan. It’s not like I’m some 12 year old who’s never been off the farm before. I’ve faced down all sorts of stuff you don’t want to hear about.” She gave her mother a reassuring smile. “I’ll be fine.” She stood as she heard a knock on the door. “That’s Connor now. We’ll be fine. Don’t worry.” She walked out and closed the door behind her. Helena sat down on the bed and began dialing the telephone.

That was all that saved her life. Seconds later, Cassie came flying through the door and slammed into the far wall.

“Cassie!” Helena cried as she started to get up.

“Get out of here, Mom!” Cassie yelled, holding out a hand to keep Helena away. A pale version of Superboy who was wearing a yellow costume entered through what was left of the door and began stalking toward Cassie.

“What’s happening?” Helena asked as tears began running down her cheeks. Still, she obeyed her daughter and backed away.

“His name’s Match,” Cassie said as she slowly pushed herself to her feet. “He’s trouble.”

”It is so nice to be recognized,” Match said as he seized Helena. “Where is Superboy?”

”I wouldn’t tell you if I knew,” Cassie said as fury twisted her face.

Match nodded once. “Then you must be convinced.” With ease, he picked up Helena and threw her out the window. She screamed as she began to fall.

“Mom!” Cassie screamed. She was starting out the window when she felt pain in her head. Match had grabbed hold of her hair, preventing her from saving her mother. She turned to Match with rage burning in her eyes. “Now you’re going down.”

Match smirked. “Apparently you must be taught a lesson as well.” He started forward. Cassie never took a step back.

Helena screamed as she fell downward. She found herself cursing herself for not getting a room on the ground floor. Her fall came to a sudden stop as something grabbed her in midair.

She opened her eyes and saw that she was looking at a chest wearing a blue shirt. “Superman?” she asked.

A friendly laugh greeted that remark. She looked up into a face that was wearing a golden helmet. “Hardly. My name’s the Guardian. Are you okay?” As he spoke, the cable they were swinging on deposited them on a rooftop.

“I’m fine, but my daughter’s in trouble!” she said, grabbing at Guardian’s arm.

“Where is she?” he asked.

Helena pointed at the hole in the hotel’s wall. “Be careful,” she said. “She said that it’s someone named Match.”

”Match?” Guardian asked. “That’s interesting. I thought he was gone.” He paused a moment. “How does she know Match?”

Helena shrugged. “I guess I can tell you. My daughter’s Wonder Girl.”

Guardian’s eyes widened at that. “I see,” he said. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll take care of it.” He grabbed the cable and swung back across the alley to the hotel as Helena watched.

Cassie ducked as Match threw a punch. His follow-up caught her in the stomach and sent her crashing into the night table. “You killed my mother,” she said as she picked herself up. “I’ll kill you for that!”

Match smiled. “You are free to try. All I want is Superboy.”

A blue and gold blur flew through the open window and slammed into Match, sending him through the shattered doorway and into the wall across the hallway. “Guardian!” Wonder Girl yelled in surprise.

“Hello,” Guardian replied as he raised his shield. “Your mother told me what was going on. She’s on a roof across the street.” Guardian smiled that familiar smile as he reached down with his free hand to help Cassie to her feet. “Ready to take this creep down?” he asked.

Cassie smiled. “You bet!”

Across town, Superboy flew over the skyscrapers, still trying to discreetly sniff at himself. This isn’t fair! he thought. I sat in that gunk for hours and I still stink! He looked at his hand. Okay. I’ve got flowers, so that should help cover the stink. But what about what’s left? Maybe Cassie’s got a cold. No, the flu! No, if she’s got that she can’t go out tonight. Her nose is just stopped up! Yeah, that’s it! I can put up with a little snot-snorting every now and then if it means she doesn’t smell this. Whistling, Superboy started down toward Cassie’s hotel.

“Guardian,” Match growled as he reentered the room. “You both die now.” Guardian snapped his shield up and shoved Cassie behind him as Match turned on his heat vision.

“Get out of here!” Guardian yelled as his shield began to glow and the air began to grow hot.

“What about you?” Cassie asked.

“I’ll be fine as long as you hurry back with help!” Guardian said. “Go! Superboy’s supposed to be on the way – go find him!”

”All right,” Cassie said, launching herself into flight through the shattered window.

“A foolish gesture,” Match sneered as he increased the intensity of his heat vision. A drop of golden metal dropped off the bottom of the shield and sizzled into the carpet as Guardian prepared to launch to safety. “It appears an example must be made.”

Guardian didn’t even have time to scream as Match increased his heat vision’s intensity again. The shield vaporized a moment later.

Next Issue: Superboy vs. Match! And who’s been pulling Match’s strings?

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