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#3
JUN 07 |
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"Dead Man's Hand"
Joe Carny whistled as he walked into an abandoned warehouse. He looked around and saw a lit office. As he started toward it, someone grabbed his arm. He turned and looked into the eye of a young man with a patch over one eye. “Jack?” he asked.
Jack nodded. “So they found you, too.”
“Who?” Joe asked. He paused as the realization of what was going on sunk in. “Oh, no,” he said. “You’ve got to be kidding.”
”We’re not,” Wanda Wayland said. She was an athletic, beautiful, and tough young woman. “Somebody’s trying to put the gang back together.”
Joe frowned. “Who’s in the office?”
”Queenie,” Wanda replied with a look of disgust on her face. “She’s more soaked than Aquaman.”
Joe folded his arms. “Can’t whoever wants us back together see that she’s the weak link?”
Jack smirked. “That’s why we’re out here. Turns out our benefactor’s also happened across a little drug that’ll make Queenie start barfing if she even smells alcohol.”
”And guess what those drinks are laced with,” Wanda finished.
Joe smiled. “So we just wait until she sobers up?”
”Exactly,” another man said. He stepped forward with a smile on his face and stuck out his hand. “Call me Ace.”
Scott Free plopped down on the couch and carefully slid in the tape of one of his favorite movies. The scent of smoke from the kitchen showed that Barda was whipping up some popcorn.
“Whatcha watching?” Roy Harper asked as he leaned over the back of the couch, sandwich in hand.
“Haldane of the Secret Service,” Scott replied.
“Any naked people in it?” Roy asked.
Scott took a deep breath. “It’s from the 1920’s. Any naked people could be your grandmother.”
“Ew,” Roy replied. He dropped his sandwich into the trashcan. “Killed my appetite with that one.” He was still shivering as he walked out.
Barda walked in and sat down. She handed the bowl of popcorn to Scott. He smiled. It was its usual appealing black color. A stick of butter had been crammed into the middle of the bowl. “Looks delicious,” he said as he gave Barda a kiss.
“Thanks,” she said as she began crunching away. Scott leaned back and pressed play on the VCR.
Donna Troy finished working with her hair and exited her room, to find Roy Harper and Michael Carter in a lively discussion.
“Well, she wouldn’t be my grandmother,” Booster said. “I’m from the 25th century. I don’t know how many greats there would be.”
”Come on!” Harper said. “How could enjoy seeing that knowing that it might be one of your ancestors!”
Booster smiled. “I’d be glad to know that my good looks are the product of excellent genetics.”
Donna sighed. “Hate to break this up, but I’m going shopping. You need anything from the store?”
Roy thought. “Just some more Schlitz beer.”
Booster shook his head. “I’m good. Although if you happen to see some whoopee cushions filled with chicken guts…”
”Pass,” Donna said. “I’ll be back in a while.” She gave Roy a kiss and headed down the hall.
Fire bent over and stared into a jewelry store window. She sighed. “You know, those earrings would look incredible with my new dress.”
The towering pile of boxes behind her shifted slightly and Ice’s head popped out from behind them. “Which one, Bea?” she asked. “You’ve bought out every store we’ve been in!”
”Hardly,” Fire replied without taking her eyes off the earrings. “I left the maternity sections alone.”
“Whatever,” Ice said. She carefully set the boxes down and pulled a cell phone out of her purse. “I’m going to call Guy to come get these.”
“All right,” Fire said. She still hadn’t looked away from the display. “Tora, does Guy have any credit cards?”
Ice didn’t even answer as she called for Guy. Moments later, a green hand swooped down out of the sky, picking her and the packages up.
Fire still stared at the earrings. “Tora?” she asked. When she heard no response, she smiled. “I know. It leaves me speechless, too.”
“That was so mean!” Tora yelled through her laughter.
Guy smiled back at her. A giant green Macy’s bag took care of Bea’s purchases, and he and Tora were flying across the sky in a green Corvette. “Come on,” he said. “Betcha she won’t even notice you’re gone for a half hour.”
“You’re probably right,” Tora said as she leaned back in the seat. “But it was still mean!”
“Hey, I never said I was a nice Guy,” Gardner said. The giant car continued on its way.
Wanda Wayland came out of the office with a disgusted look on her face. She turned to Ace. “Well, I can say that your little chemical is working. It’s working so well you might want to get some carpet cleaners on the phone.”
”Excellent,” Ace said. “We’ll let the Queen sleep it off and she can join us when she recovers. Come with me, please.” He led the way into a meeting room decorated with giant playing cards, strangely reminiscent of the Gang’s headquarters they used the first time they battled the Justice League of America. Each of them located their place and took their seat. Ace did not sit, instead choosing to walk around to the front of the table to face the others.
“I am sure you all remember your first mission,” he said. “You were gathered together and managed to nullify some of the original Justice League of America’s most powerful members. You were only stopped by Jack’s betrayal.” Jack swallowed hard. “However, that betrayal was justified, as it is also the only reason that you are all still alive today.” Jack seemed to relax a moment before Ace continued with a harder tone. “However, ever since, your reputations have deteriorated to the point where you are all seen as nothing but pathetic jokes.” Ace folded his arms. “I can help you. We are going to take care of the team’s problems and truly become a force to be reckoned with.” A click sounded as the building’s intercom was clicked on. Horribly loud vomiting sounds showed that one of the problems was already being dealt with.
Ted Kord sat in his lab, tinkering on a new BB gun. Finally satisfied, he closed his access hatch, raised it, set it to its flash function, and fired.
”MY EYES!”
Ted removed his anti-glare goggles to see Michael Carter staggering with his hands over his eyes. “Ted, you’ve blinded me!”
Ted smiled and laid the gun down on his workbench. “That means it works.”
”It works. What’re you trying to do? I fly! How can I fly when I need a little white cane?”
Ted let Michael continue bellyaching for a minute or two before he interrupted. “It’ll clear up in a few minutes,” he said. He looked at the gun. “Still needs more power.”
“More power?” Carter asked. “Are you trying to cook the guy?”
Ted grinned. “Better too much power than not enough.” He swiveled around in his wheelchair. “So what’re you up to?”
“Taking the day off,” Carter said.
“Ah,” Ted said. “So just an ordinary day at work.”
”Hey!” Michael said. “I’ll have you know that I work hard at… at…” He thought a moment. “What do I do again?”
Ted shook his head. “You amaze me. I mean here we are, in a workshop, and we can’t think of anything else to build.”
Carter smiled. “I think I’m getting an idea…”
Ted smiled as well. “Me too. We’ll need a limbo stick and a watermelon, but the ostrich is going to be the real trouble.”
Maxwell Lord picked up his briefcase and started out of the embassy. Sure, he was technically sneaking out early, but he had a date. He paused outside the TV room and saw Scott and Barda sitting there, watching the end of the movie.
“Scott, how’s the security system?” Max asked.
Scott stood and walked around to him. “I’ve nearly gotten it online,” he said. “The wiring’s much better this time than in that old deathtrap embassy we used to have. Tomorrow I should have it up.”
“Okay,” Max said. “Just so long as I’m not going to get vaporized going to my car or anything.” He paused a moment before he continued speaking. “By the way, J’onn should be back tomorrow. Make sure he knows about the system before you turn it on.”
”No problem,” Scott said as he started back to the couch.
”Have a good night, you two,” Max said as he continued toward the door.
He jumped back as the door flew open and Fire stormed in. “Can’t believe that Tora,” she muttered. “I didn’t even have cab fare left. I had to ride the subway.” Still fuming, she headed upstairs.
Max simply ran out the door and headed for his date.
All throughout the embassy, the Leaguers fell to the ground as a thick white gas billowed from the ventilation ducts. Finally the front door open and the Royal Flush Gang, wearing gas masks, entered.
“Excellent,” Ace judged. “Now we get our reputations back.”
Next Issue: With the entire League at the mercy of the Royal Flush Gang, only Martian Manhunter is left to save them! But will he be too late?
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