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#2
MAY 06 |
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"Bad Boys"
“Why do I have to pay for a rental car?” Thomas Blake screamed at the top of his lungs. Blake (Catman), along with Floyd Lawton (Deadshot), and Abe Tarrant (Tattooed Man) had been in Chicago for exactly fourteen minutes and after paying for airplane tickets and reserving their hotel rooms on his VISA card Blake was getting a little upset. “Have Abe pay for the damn thing!”
“No can do, Tommy,” Abe said under his breath. “It’s against my principles to use cash for anything other than beer and food.”
Lawton pulled a cigarette out of his pocket and lit up. “Just use your card again, Blake. It’s not like you’re gonna have to worry about money again after a while.” He walked quickly out of the airport terminal, confident that Blake could handle their travel arrangements. He blew smoke out of his mouth and looked out to the Chicago skyline. Someone was willing to pay them pretty big money to come here and take out the hero known as Blue Beetle, and the only thing that really bothered Floyd Lawton was the desire to know the name of the employer.
Thomas and Abe exited the airport; Thomas was carrying two bags on his shoulders and pulling another large suitcase behind him. Abe Tarrant had a duffel bag that contained a pair of underwear and toothbrush.
Floyd lifted his own suitcase from the ground, “I think you may have forgotten a few things in New York, Tommy.”
Blake stopped for just a second, “No, I have everything. I hated to leave my water mask at home, though. I am so going to wake up with bags under my eyes tomorrow.” Abe walked past him shaking his head. “What?” asked Blake.
Ted Kord left his lab and headed for his private gym. As the former head of KORD INC., Ted was a millionaire, and while the company fell on hard times and Ted sold his shares, he still retained enough wealth to live a more than comfortable life. He always felt that he needed to spend more time pursuing his other career as well, that of the costumed adventurer, The Blue Beetle.
Ted worked out for about an hour, and after showering he suited up for the night. He took an elevator to the garage that housed The Bug. The Bug was Ted’s finest invention, a flying ship capable of VTOL and speeds that made any F-16 pilot jealous. The Bug was also shaped like a giant beetle which Ted thought would strike fear into the hearts of criminals everywhere. Instead Ted usually punched them out as they stared at the ship with an incredulous look on their face and muttered “You made it look like a giant roach?”
With Ted at the controls, the Bug burst into the night’s sky over Chicago. Inside, Blue Beetle monitored police reports looking for any criminal behavior that seemed out of the ordinary. After all, you don’t build a $14 million dollar ship to take you to stop guys stealing tires off of parked cars. As he raced across the sky, Blue Beetle had no idea what the evening would have in store for him.
Lawton, Blake, and Tarrant crashed at their hotel room. Within minutes of their arrival they received their packages from FED EX. Then, after suiting up, the three of them snuck out into the Windy City.
High on a roof near downtown Deadshot had Catman use their laptop to sat-link to Topper. Topper was the best friend a super criminal could ever ask for on the Internet, as he always had the best info for any job. Catman established the link, “Top, we’re in Chicago. Now I think it’s time you told us who is payrolling this hit.”
Topper’s computerized voice spilled out of the laptop, “The man you are meeting tonight is Anthony Huntinelli, also known as Tony the Turtle. You’ll see why when you meet him. Tony is the head of the Huntinelli Family in Chicago. Their connection to the New York Mafia goes back to the beginnings of FBI investigations.”
Catman looked up at the others. “A mob hit! This will be great for our rep on the street!”
Topper interrupted Catman. “Excuse me! Now as I was saying, the Huntinelli Family has recently been having troubles with the Blue Beetle. He busted up their money laundering operation and has reportedly been leaning on a bunch of stoolies looking to get some evidence on Tony the Turtle. Tony wants the bug squashed. You’ll meet Tony at his penthouse on top of the Vickers Building in downtown. Good luck, boys, and don’t forget to wire me my fee.” And with that Topper quickly signed off.
“A real live mob hit!” exclaimed Catman. “Abe, you ever do a mob hit before?”
“Yeah, I did one back in ’89,” said Tattooed Man. “They had me ace some mook by the name of Whilce Portacio. He was just some bad funny book artist, but I think he owed them a lot of money or something. Anyway, they paid real well and I took care of the job quick and easy. Then they tell me to leave town for a while, so I do. Only then I run into Green Lantern and wind up doing nearly four years at the Slab for the damn thing.”
“You think they ratted you out?” asked Deadshot.
“I think they got leaned on by the cops and somebody gave me up, got no idea who did it though.” Tattooed Man touched the tattoo of an eagle on his forearm to provide transportation for the threesome. “Just seems as though whenever a super guy does a job for the mob they always get caught, sounds like rats to me.”
“I hate rats,” said Deadshot.
The three villains slowly descended to the penthouse of Tony the Turtle, and quickly understood how he received his nickname. Standing at approximately 5’4” and weighing in at an estimated 480 pounds, the Turtle was nothing more than two stubby arms and legs on a round body complete with a stubby head. He sat in a large cushioned armchair on the deck of the penthouse.
“Welcome, gentlemen,” said a tall man to the right of Tony. The man was about 6’ tall and looked so thin that he could have been a pole on the patio. He pushed his horn-rimmed glasses in place and moved to greet the three men. “My name is Carmine. I am Mr. Huntinelli’s advisor, and you will be dealing solely with me during your entire stay here in Chicago.” As Carmine finished speaking, the Turtle moved out of his chair and went inside his apartment.
“What’s this crap!” exclaimed Tattooed Man. “If he wants us to do a job, then he gets his fat ass out here and talks to us!”
“I’m afraid that will be impossible, gentlemen.” Carmine walked over to Deadshot and the others to speak more privately. “You see, Mr. Huntinelli cannot be present during our talks, as he is currently under investigation from the Chicago Police Department. Involving himself with men of your character would undermine his case to the city District Attorney. Therefore, I am now in charge of all matters that require your services.”
“What I want to know is, why us?” asked Catman. “I mean you must have local talent for an operation like this right?”
Carmine fixed his glasses again, “Actually, we only wanted Mr. Deadshot. You other two are here because Mr. Topper informed us that Deadshot would not come to Chicago without you.” As Carmine spoke his distaste for having Catman and Tattooed Man around was evident.
“They’re my boys,” said Deadshot, “even if one of them is kinda queer.”
“HEY!” screamed Catman as Tattooed Man chuckled.
“I see,” sighed Carmine. “At any rate, gentlemen, let us get to the business at hand. The vigilante known as Blue Beetle has recently foiling many of the Huntinelli Family sponsored programs and has had several prominent members of our association placed in custody of the police. We wish to see the Beetle exterminated from our fair city. We were referred to Mr. Topper, who then referred us to Deadshot. We offer one million dollars for the Beetle’s removal, and an extra $500,000 if you kill any of his friends.”
Tattooed Man looked over at Catman; Blake’s eyes saw nothing but dollar signs. Catman looked over at Deadshot. He hadn’t moved during the entire meeting, till now.
“He’ll be taken out by morning,” he said and then he turned toward Tarrant and gave the sign for them to leave. A quick touch of the forearm and the three flew off into the night’s air by Pegasus.
Back on the penthouse patio, Carmine smiled and walked inside, “It’s done sir. Deadshot says the Blue Beetle will be gone by the morning.”
Tony the Turtle looked up from his plate of spaghetti, “Then those three mooks will be dead or in jail by the afternoon and we won’t have to pay a dime.” Tony started to laugh but instead went back to his food.
Beetle had the Bug hover over the nearby Sears Tower. He wanted to patrol the city by rooftops for awhile and see if any of his informants had anything more on Tony the Turtle. After nearly three hours of rooftop swinging his arms ached, so he decided that he would head back to the Bug and try again tomorrow when he saw an orange and yellow garbed figure breaking into the roof of a small diamond exchange.
Beetle swung on his jump line and landed a dropkick to the man’s back. “Gosh, I’m sorry, Mr. Burglar! Did I spoil your theft attempt? How embarrassing!” he said sarcastically. Beetle loved teasing the bad guys; it always upset them so much. “But nothing could be more embarrassing than that costume of yours! Did you wash your ink pen in your pants pocket again?”
Catman pulled himself up from the roof, smiling. “Very nice, Beetle, but you should have finished me off when you had the chance, now you face the Feline Fury of THE CATMAN!” As Catman spoke he readied himself into his most menacing battle stance.
“BWA HAHAHAHA!” Beetle nearly started crying he was laughing so hard. “Feline Fury? Oh man, you gotta be kidding me! HAHAHAHA! Oh sorry, just give me a second here.”
“What’s so funny about that?” asked Catman. “I thought that was damn menacing!”
“No way. You look and sound like a cheap Batman knock off except you talk instead of growl. I don’t know if I should punch you or change your litter box.” Beetle was laughing at Catman as his face turned red at the remarks.
“I am NOT a Batman knock off!” he screamed and dove at Beetle, his claws out and ready for the strike. That strike never came as Beetle tumbled to the left and pulled out his FlashGun. He turned to fire and blind Catman when Pamela Anderson gripped his hand.
Beetle’s eyes nearly popped out of his head. “What the hell are you doing here? Wait, am I daydreaming again? Maybe I should close my eyes.” Beetle closed his eyes and then opened them quickly, only now standing in front of him was Tattooed Man, his fist balled up and pulled back.
“Shoulda kept ‘em closed,” Abe said as he smashed his fist into Beetle’s mask, sending him down to the rooftop. “Look at that, one punch! I knocked out the Blue Beetle with one freakin’ punch!” he yelled.
“Excuse me?” said Beetle from the ground. “This isn’t Guy Gardner you’re dealing with here.”
Tattooed Man turned back towards his fallen adversary and was met with a blinding light from Beetle’s FlashGun. Tattooed Man grabbed his face, unable to see and totally disoriented. Beetle followed up with a leg sweep that brought Tattooed Man to the ground with a hard “THUD” sound.
Beetle jumped to his feet and was met by a punch from Catman, followed by claws raking him on the chest. “Watch it, man, I only have about three of these outfits left, you know!” Beetle retaliated by cartwheeling backwards and set himself for another FlashGun shot. Catman saw it coming and pulled a smoke capsule from his Cat Utility Belt. He slammed the capsule into the ground screening himself from Beetle’s attack. “Does Bats know you stole every one of his tricks or what?” Beetle yelled.
Beetle was joking, but things were getting serious. He knew that Tattooed Man wasn’t out, and he had held his own against Green Lantern in the past. And as stupid as Catman might seem, he was fighting well against Beetle. He needed to place a call for help fast. He raced for the edge of the building and prepared to jump, only to find his feet grasped by a giant anaconda! His face slapped hard on the roof as the tattoo generated giant snake started to wrap itself around Beetle’s body crushing him.
Tattooed Man and Catman walked out of the smoke screen laughing. “Why are you doing this?” asked Beetle as he fought to keep the snake from crushing him.
“Cause we’re getting lots of money for it!” said Catman. “What other reason is there?”
Beetle’s hand reached for his belt where he found a flare. He popped the flare and burned the snake in the face, burning his own chest in the process. Beetle unwrapped himself from the snake and tried to make it to his feet, but was pounced on by Catman.
“Look, maybe we can talk about this, guys,” he said. Things weren’t looking good now, and he was running out of ways to get free. “I might even be able to hook you up with a new tailor who isn’t color blind.” He used his knees to flip Catman away, and finally made it to his feet.
Beetle looked to his right and saw that Catman had landed on his feet and to his left the Tattooed Man was going for another object. As fast as he could he jumped at Tattooed Man and clotheslined him to the ground knocking Abe’s head so hard that he fell unconscious. Catman leapt into the air, but Beetle was already up and moving, as he raced to the edge of the building he jumped off the side and fired a cable to a nearby building. As he landed, he looked back and saw Catman trying to wake up the unconscious Tattooed Man. He radioed for the Bug to come pick him up, and then decided he better work on some help against these two.
That was when he felt the first shot.
Deadshot watched Beetle land on a rooftop several buildings away, it would be a tough shot from here, so he moved farther away and fired. The first shot hit Beetle just below his right shoulder, nearly two inches from Beetle’s lungs. The second bullet pierced his right bicep muscle and the third went through his kneecap.
Deadshot pulled his mask off and lit a cigarette as Tattooed Man and Catman made their way over to him. “What’s up, Floyd? Why didn’t you kill him?” asked Abe.
“We set him up just like we planned, Lawton!” yelled Catman. “How are we going to get our money if we don’t kill him?”
“They never said kill him. Anyone has a problem with it, then we can talk about it later. Let’s go see the Turtle.” As Deadshot pulled his mask back on he watched Abe bring out three flying monkeys that carried them to Huntinelli’s penthouse.
As the villains left, Blue Beetle’s Bug finally appeared in the clouds. After dragging himself on board, Beetle raced for the nearest hospital, radioing for help as he went.
The villains found Carmine inside the penthouse at a small round table. “I just want to say what an unbelievable job the three of you did today,” said Carmine. “Our men inside Mercy Hope Hospital have already confirmed Blue Beetle’s arrival, but … HE IS ALIVE! I TOLD YOU I WANTED HIM DEAD!”
“No you didn’t,” said Deadshot. “You said you wanted him exterminated.”
“LISTEN, YOU TWO BIT HOOD! DON’T TELL ME WHAT I SAID! I KNOW WHAT I SAID! I TOLD YOU TO KILL THAT SON OF A BITCH, AND ALL YOU DID WAS CRIPPLE HIM! I’M NOT PAYING YOU A CENT! NOW GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE BEFORE…”
Carmine was cut short by Deadshot’s raised arm. “You said, and I quote, “We wish to see the Beetle exterminated from our fair city,” and that’s exactly what we did. You won’t ever see Blue Beetle again. So you owe us one million dollars.”
Carmine’s face turned red with anger, but he knew the wrong words would get him killed. “I need to speak with Mr. Huntinelli.” Carmine slowly walked into the back bedroom and after some loud conversation he returned with The Turtle himself.
The Turtle lit a cigar and stood before the men in his robe. “So I understand we have a disagreement here, gentlemen. We are all grown men and we don’t need to quibble over words. You get your money for killing our good friend the Blue Beetle. And may I add...”
The Turtle never uttered another word, as the room was filled with the sound of a loud gunshot. Deadshot had fired a round right into the forehead of Huntinelli as he was talking. Carmine shrieked in fear and dove for cover, and before Huntinelli’s body even hit the floor five armed guards burst into the room and opened fire on the villains.
Tattooed Man called up a giant catcher’s mitt that shielded him from the bullets. Catman dove down and sprang up through the air to tackle one of the gunmen. Deadshot fired at two of the mobsters, killing them quickly. Tattooed Man called up a pair of lions who ravaged the two remaining hitmen and Catman finished his off by choking him with his Catline.
As the commotion died down, Carmine raised his head from behind the couch. “What the hell are you doing this for?”
“They tried to shoot us,” said Deadshot.
Carmine looked at him incredulously. “They tried to shoot you because you killed the most powerful mobster in the Midwest!”
Deadshot pulled up his mask and lit another cigarette, “You said we would get paid $500,000 extra if we killed any of Beetle’s friends.”
Carmine still looked awestruck, “SO?”
Deadshot motioned to the Turtle’s body, “The Turtle just called Blue Beetle his good friend, so I killed him. You owe us $500,000 extra. I prefer unmarked cash.”
“THAT’S NOT WHAT HE MEANT!” screamed Carmine.
Deadshot walked right up to Carmine’s face. “Then he should have picked his words more carefully; and you need to lower your voice. Now, about that cash.”
As the three villains drove back to New York in their rental car, Blake reflected on how many enemies they just made in one night. “So let’s see, there’s the entire mob, probably the JLA, and definitely Blue Beetle’s old partner Booster Gold.”
“Is he still around?” asked Abe.
“I think he works at a used car lot in Tampa now,” replied Lawton. “And I wouldn’t worry about the mob, they need guys like us more than they want to admit. Hell, we probably did them a favor by killing Turtle and bringing in some new blood around Chicago. It’s good for business.”
Blake checked his mail on the lap top computer, “Hey Lawton, Topper sent you a message, you want me to read it out loud to you?”
Floyd kept driving, “sure.”
“Okay, it says
D,
Way to screw things up in Chicago, luckily the top guys were just about ready to move Carmine into a higher position anyway. Seems there won’t really be any sanctioned backlash coming your way. I still say you should have finished that piece of crap Beetle guy though.
Only a few inquiries for jobs.
Zod is still looking for someone to take out a Superman-Girl-or Boy.
Blockbuster says he has something BIG going down and if you want in you better hurry.
And finally, word has it Red Star is moving out to LA to join some group called Titans West. Guess you won’t have to worry about any retaliation on that front.
Thomas Blake’s apartment window slid open. He used no security devices. The intruders gained easy entrance to his home. “We’ll just wait here until those three would be assassins show up. Won’t we, Baby?” said Pantha.
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To Be Continued...
Next Issue: In Deadshot #3: Deadshot and crew arrive in NYC after their big payday, but they find that Catman’s litter box has been invaded!
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